BREAKING NEWS!Press Release:
"UPDATE: The NSPCC has advised that they have contacted the Child Protection Police in Bradford who assured them that they have undertaken an investigation which includes working alongside other agencies.
Jill Havern is also the centre of a complaint with West Midlands Police and following a one hour meeting with New South Wales Police, they too are aware of what has been happening. Police in at least two other countries have also been contacted by other victims of their campaign."
The following is a transcript from the 1 hour meeting:
Maggot: Hello Mr Policeman, I'd like to make a complaint please.
NSW policeman: Hello again Mr Maggot, what complaint have you got today?
Maggot: Well, there's a woman in the UK who's stalking me.
NSW policeman: Really? Do you have any proof?
Maggot: No. But that's not all. She wrote a book about the NHS and made outrageous claims!
NSW policeman: Really? What claims were they?
Maggot: Well, I don't know, I didn't read the crap book.
NSW policeman: I see. Is there anything else I can help you with, Mr Maggot?
Maggot: Yes, there is. She and a big pink cat from Ealing have created a blog about me that contains pornographic material!
NSW policeman: Really... do you have any spoof... er, sorry, proof?
Maggot: Well, no.
NSW policeman: Mr Maggot, before we can take any action we need to see hard evidence.
Maggot: OK, how about this then... she wouldn't talk dirty to me and she queried one of my articles on my award winning blog and then she had the audacity to leave my award winning blog when I attacked another blogger about his baby!
NSW policeman: Go on, Mr Maggot, tell me more.
Maggot: Well, there isn't any more. BUT, hang on a minute! She's now forced me to create a libellous blog about her and the other blogger! And she's also forced me to register with tons of forums so that I can post vile things about them both! She's even forced me to start a 'child at risk' campaign! Can you imagine how much of my time that takes up when I could be walking through the boys' school with my camera or writing pervy stories about spanking children? Indeed, only last night I was on their blog for more than 5 hours posting pornographic comments in an attempt to get their spoof blog shut down. What are you going to do about it Mr Policeman?
NSW policeman: Mr Maggot, can I please ask you to put this jacket on? I realise the arms are very long and that they tie up at the back but...
Maggot: Oh, very nice, but do you have it in any other colour? And why are you putting me in this room with no windows? Hello???
1 hour meeting consisting of:
3 minutes to report complaint
57 minutes to secure jacket
"UPDATE: The NSPCC has advised that they have contacted the Child Protection Police in Bradford who assured them that they have undertaken an investigation which includes working alongside other agencies.
Jill Havern is also the centre of a complaint with West Midlands Police and following a one hour meeting with New South Wales Police, they too are aware of what has been happening. Police in at least two other countries have also been contacted by other victims of their campaign."
The following is a transcript from the 1 hour meeting:
Maggot: Hello Mr Policeman, I'd like to make a complaint please.
NSW policeman: Hello again Mr Maggot, what complaint have you got today?
Maggot: Well, there's a woman in the UK who's stalking me.
NSW policeman: Really? Do you have any proof?
Maggot: No. But that's not all. She wrote a book about the NHS and made outrageous claims!
NSW policeman: Really? What claims were they?
Maggot: Well, I don't know, I didn't read the crap book.
NSW policeman: I see. Is there anything else I can help you with, Mr Maggot?
Maggot: Yes, there is. She and a big pink cat from Ealing have created a blog about me that contains pornographic material!
NSW policeman: Really... do you have any spoof... er, sorry, proof?
Maggot: Well, no.
NSW policeman: Mr Maggot, before we can take any action we need to see hard evidence.
Maggot: OK, how about this then... she wouldn't talk dirty to me and she queried one of my articles on my award winning blog and then she had the audacity to leave my award winning blog when I attacked another blogger about his baby!
NSW policeman: Go on, Mr Maggot, tell me more.
Maggot: Well, there isn't any more. BUT, hang on a minute! She's now forced me to create a libellous blog about her and the other blogger! And she's also forced me to register with tons of forums so that I can post vile things about them both! She's even forced me to start a 'child at risk' campaign! Can you imagine how much of my time that takes up when I could be walking through the boys' school with my camera or writing pervy stories about spanking children? Indeed, only last night I was on their blog for more than 5 hours posting pornographic comments in an attempt to get their spoof blog shut down. What are you going to do about it Mr Policeman?
NSW policeman: Mr Maggot, can I please ask you to put this jacket on? I realise the arms are very long and that they tie up at the back but...
Maggot: Oh, very nice, but do you have it in any other colour? And why are you putting me in this room with no windows? Hello???
1 hour meeting consisting of:
3 minutes to report complaint
57 minutes to secure jacket
